


You're Slow

by IwriteDreams



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Drinking, Drunk Connor, Drunk Texting, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, One Shot, Oneshot, Texting, connors is a drunkn' fuckin' sap, drunk connor is so fuckin funny to me, hankcon - Freeform, oof writing this was dumb, therium
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 11:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18810085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IwriteDreams/pseuds/IwriteDreams
Summary: Connor gets drunk, or overrun on therium, and drunk texts Hank a romance novel.





	You're Slow

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are my damn lifeblood, please help me improve! Enjoy!

It made sense to Connor now. In the sense that nothing is making sense at the moment.

 

He used to not understand the appeal of slowing your own senses, intentionally dulling your reflexes and self for relaxation. Now Connor understands it better, wanting to be stupid and ignorant.

 

And while alcohol still can’t affect him in anyway shape or form, androids have their own version now. Drinking therium, or blue blood.

 

Adding more therium to their systems clogs certain receptors, making then slow and clunky. The therium pump beats faster, and every part of the body and mind buzzes to quickly to keep up with itself, yet slower and more clumsy than ever. 

 

Elbow to elbow with Markus, Connor stares at the blue color that hugs the bottom of his glass. The therium doesn't taste any different, not flavored, nothing. It just tastes like metal, and conductive materials, which it is. The taste only serves to remind Connor that he is a detective. It tastes just like therium that dribbles out of dead people. 

 

Markus had tried to break the ice with small talk, tried good and hard, but Connor’s answers were flat and limp, so eventually they just drank in silent comradery. Markus was maybe regretting offering the idea up to Connor in the first place.

 

Five drinks down and Connor was beginning to feel his systems clog and slow down. He couldn't think as fast anymore, and the difference was noticeable. He spent three minutes watching a sports game on TV, his analysis slow and faulty, before he decided that he liked this feeling. Being able to turn a blind eye to all the numbers.

 

“Connor? How are you feeling?” 

 

“Its… it’s good.” He said, and wow, even his audio processors where slowed. It almost sounded like he was talking into a speech jammer. “I don’t… why is this so strange?”

 

Markus grimaces to himself. “Maybe you’re done for today.” He said. “I'm glad its helping, but you should quit while your ahead.”

 

“Probably.” Connor nodded. “But I’m still worried about Hanck...”

 

“I know you are,” Marjus said. “Therium can’t… you're going to still be worried, but at least its a slower worry.”

 

“But I...! Am... still worried!”

 

“You told me that he has a 99.8 percent survival chance, that's only improving.”

 

“But I’m waorried!” Damn, was this therium making him stupid?

 

“Yes,” Markus said. “You’ve told me.”

 

“He got shot, Markus! He got- fhuckn shot!” Connor heard his words coming out think and clunky.

 

“You told me the bullet just grazed him, I know you’re worried but he’s fine.”

 

“He’s still in the damn hosspigal!”

 

“He's getting disinfected Connor, he will be okay.”

 

“Another… an other drink? Please?”

 

“No buddy, you’re done for today.”

 

“Markus…” Connor tries to use an innocent voice of plea. It always worked with Hank, but Markus seemed unaffected.

 

“Ijust… I wanim to be unhurt.”

 

“I don't think that's a word.”

 

“Yes it is…”

 

“I’ve just scanned my internal diconary Connor, and it is not.”

 

“Guy shulda shot me instead.”

 

“It doesn’t matter. Hank will be fine, he just wanted some alone time to recover in his room.”

 

“Why did he want me gone through?” Connor blurted, fist clenching. “Heshula be able to do whatevar he needs with me around!”

 

Markus just tapped at the bar top. “Sometimes people need to be alone. Hank just needed some time to be by himself, that doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You need alone time away from Hank every now and then, right?”

 

“No…” Connor groaned. “I don’t want to be alone. EVER. Only Hank time.”

 

“Connor… you’re slow.” Markus said. He was going to tell him that he’s drunk, but it wasn’t the right word for it. Slow sounded right. “Next time, you shouldn’t drink as much.”

 

“Hank just doesn’ want me to see ‘em in pain…” and good god, who programmed this android to complain with such a grading tone of voice? “He thinks it up...set me. And he… he’s right but ‘Iwanna see ‘em now…!”

 

“Connor, I don’t think that’s indicative of-“

 

“He should stop. Stop pretending! I know that he’s… hurt… and I wanna see him…”

 

“Connor, for humans, adjusting can take a very long time.”

 

“Shaddup, Markus,” Connor growled. “He needs to be okay.”

 

“Hank is probably not used to people looking at him in vulnerable spots.”

 

“I've saved his damn life…” Connor lamented. “I've seen im in those places.”

 

“That doesn't mean he likes it.” Connors just staring at his empty glass, like he's trying to break it with just his stare.

 

“If Hank scared... he can tell me. He knows… knows that. I hoee….pe.”

 

“Connor… you should try talking to him about it if it bothers you so much.”

 

“You… you’re right.” Connor said, and Markus suddenly saw him reaching for his phone. A novelty for an android, it was a hand me down from Hank and it was amusing to the both of them and had become a habit.

 

“Woah, not now. You’re… not when you're this clogged… besides. Hank needs his space.”

 

“But I wanna see ‘im!”

 

“Connor, slow down. Hank just isn't used to sharing that kind of weakness. Besides. Getting grazed isn’t that bad. He’ll be fine.”

 

Connor mumbled something totally unintelligible.

 

“Fine, I’ll text him them.”

 

“Do you really think that’s the best idea? You’re systems are… unbelievably slowed.”

 

“Hank needs to hear this!”

 

Markus sighed because it was evident that none of this was going to stop Connor.

 

“Don't say I didn’t warn you.” Markus sighed, opening his own instant messenger because he better explain this to Hank before Connor gets there first.

 

* * *

 

 

Hank didn't know what tipped him off,  but he understood that if Connor watched him take a nap, still being worked on by doctors, picking over stitches and bloody flesh blown off the side of his arm, Connor would be nervous.

 

Probably because he's bleeding out in a hospital, and willingly losing consciousness. As far as Connor is concerned, he might never wake up again. That was always the cliche in the movies, right?

 

When he wakes up, there’s still one doctor. His arm is done, wrapped up and sore, but the doctor is on the other side of the room, tapping something into a computer. 

 

The doctor is an android.

 

“Hey there,” Hank grunted. “Thanks for the work.”

 

The android looked up. Why did an android need to type on a computer? “Of course, Mr. Anderson. That’s my job.”

 

The android smiles at him nicely, before his fingers find the keyboard again, but his eyes remain on Hank, whos sitting up. “It was a nasty wound. You’re very lucky it only grazed you, even if the graze was deep.”

 

“Yeah! Yeah… I got a partner who shoved me out of the way fast. You should thank him. Without him, I’d be a body on an operating table many times over.”

 

“Is his name Connor?”

 

“What? How’d you know?”

 

“Your cellphone was on you.” The android explained. “It kept going off in the corner of the room and distracted some of our human professionals. We didn't mean to pry but we put it on silent and noticed a high amount of notifications coming from a ‘Connor.’”

 

Hank snickered. “Yeah, that’s the guy. Coolest guy I know.”

 

“Your cell phone is on the table there.” The android nodded. “If you want to get back to him. He seemed impatient.”

 

“Of course he is.” Hank instinctively tries to reach out with his right hand, only to feel the sore pull of the arm, and has to remind himself that there is now a large chunk of flesh and dead nerves that had been blown out of his body only this morning.

 

Cursing, he reached over with his left hand and flicked it on. He was surprised that it was already 11 at night. He’d gotten over 14 hours ago. And sure enough, his phone was overloaded with messages from Connor and one from Markus. 

 

He opened the messages, and stared, slightly amazed slightly amused as he had over thirty messages, all looking closer to paragraphs then text messages. What was he going to do Connor? He huffed a sigh, scrolling up more then he expected before he began to read.

 

[ Hey Hank, whenever you’re reading this, I just want to make sure you know that I love you!]

 

[ You got shot and I was really worried. The guy got away, but we were able to get a very good look at him. ]

 

[ There’s only andriod dictors here at the moment. I know you say you’ve forgiven them, but I can understand if you still has reservations. I asked for a human for your own comfort, they say thst after they look at yo and stitch you up humans will be there to reinspect and disinfect. ]

 

[ You fainted from bloodloss and shock over an hour ago. Statistically, you’re very likely to survive. ]

 

[ Im still nervous. ]

 

[ Please be okay. ]

 

[ I know you’ll be concious soon I just wanted to send this so you have something to read when today is over with. ]

 

[ It’s Sumo’s birthday on Tuesday, correct? We should do something nice. ]

 

Hank chuckles. Just by checking the timestamps, all of those were sent before Connor was let into the room, before he woke up, only to find that he badly wanted to fall asleep again. Connor had gushed over him for a few minutes, and Hank felt guilty that he couldn’t hold onto much of the words, still woosy with pain killers from stitches. 

 

[ Markus has taken me to a bar. I think he is plotting to make me slow on therium to ease my worries ]

 

[ Little does he know that I want to set you a good example, and Will not drink much of anything ]

 

[ Hank I’m worried about you ]

 

[ Why did you have to get shot? ]

 

[ I’m finding it hard to understand my impulse to drink therium. It is sorely tempting. ] 

 

[ Maybe if I slow myself, I can better understand why you like to drink ]

 

[ So I can help you stop it. ]

 

[ You’ve been cutting back lately. Your LIver is getting healthier. ]

 

[ They don’t flavor therium. It tastes just like blue blood ]

 

[ Please don’t get shot again ]

 

[ I know that you don’t want me to see you in pain hank, but this is worse ] 

 

[ I miss you already ]

 

[ Fuck I think my syetems are slowing down. ] 

 

[ Hank when you wake up I’m gonna kiss you ]

 

[ Or I’ll kiss you and then you wake up. Do you enjoy fairy tales? ]

 

[ Not spindile, just gun, ,and you sleep, and I kiss you. It be great. ]

 

[ MArkus annoying. Am I that annying when I tell yuo to stop drinking? ] 

 

[ My therium pump is buzzing almost. Just like when I’m wilth you. I’ve got too much in my systems, it’s beating too fast. ]

 

[ Hank you’re really big. I know i say alot. But truth. YOu can just hold me. ALl of me. You hold it. It’s nice. Your a blnket human. ] 

 

[ I fickn love your laugh. Its big. It’s loud and it make you rumble. ]

 

[ Do you realise that just 3 years ago being gay was taboo? And being married was like, thought to be whitchcraft? Clearly the men who made that rule never met you. You’re so nice. SO attractive. ]

 

[ How do you’ll always know what say? I talk and you talk, and I don’t know how to say. YOu just talk so good. YOu say nice things. Makes me feel weak. ] 

 

[ I know you hate to hear it, but I gotta remind you. I short cirit sometimes. YOu break me, sometimes without even touching me. You have such an effect. You fire off electricity in me all the time. Literally. You’re that powerfull. ] 

 

[ Fuck im drunk. ]

 

[ Or slow, whaterror you call it. ]

 

[ Markus told me not to text you but doesn’t know anything ]

 

[ Good god this is weird but I know that I really love you ]

 

[ I love you Hank ]

 

[ I love you. I love you so much. I feel stupid and gooey. Love. l ove damn it. Can you hear me? Or read me? ]

 

[ Wake up! Stupid princeess. Lemme see you I’m bored and i miss you… YOu better be safe or I’ll lead another damn uprising. ]

 

Hank chuckled to himself at all the messages. Who knew androids could get drunk? Or drunk text old guys like him with all the flowery romantic, drunk sentiment of a teenage lovebird at prom?

 

Hank, re-reading a few of the messages, and emailing screenshots to himself, making it harder for Connor to delete later, texted Connor to tell him that he’s up… and probably needs a ride back home. Only then does he open his singular message from Markus. 

 

[ Please excuse Connor’s messages. I couldn’t stop him. I will return him to you safely soon, I promise. Take care. ]

 

Hank smiled, as he replied. 

 

“He texted me an entire romance novel of shit. Thanks.”

 

Hank sent it with a grin. That was his Connor. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Comments are my damn lifeblood, please help me improve! I hope you enjoyed!


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